18: Momma’s “Shut Your Mouth” French Toast

My sincerest apologies for leaving you all hungry for so long. As I’m sure is the case with most of you, the world got pretty complicated for us for a while. But just as time has a tendency to do, it moved on and has now allowed me to be back here with you fantastic folks!

There are things that I think we all need to hold onto as a way of getting through our day to days. Whether it be a favorite television show, a weekly routine or the long anticipated return of a certain fantabulous food blog! Around our household its Fridays, the official start of the weekend when we can let our collective hair down and enjoy some much needed family time.

What better way to celebrate the workman’s unofficial sabbath than to start the day with a devilishly delectable treat like french toast?!

We’re in the center of the ship which is technically both miles and miles above the trailer park and also not. The ship provides interdimensional duality between two dimensions. Right now its between your dimension and the one where large metallic cones are the dominant organisms on earth.

So the dispersion rooms as I was saying is in the center of the ship. To put a picture in your mind the craft itself looks like a pizza box, if pizza boxes looked like space ships.

We have large curved glass like walls all around us separated only by thin strips of metallic support beams and of course the wooden hinged door we just came through. In the center of the room is a large canvas bag much like a twenty foot tall vacuum cleaners bag from the 70’s. Attached at the bottom of the bad is a twisted copper tubing that ends in a large 5 foot metallic turkey baster, the end of which is penetrating a silvery clear membrane hole in the floor six foot in diameter.

Set on the far side of the membranous hole in the floor is an ATM, but its not, it just looks a lot like an ATM. I mean would you form an appropriate image in your head if I said “genetic molecule modifying sequence aligner”? What comes to mind then? A chihuahua trying to hump a German Sheppard? If not, you are now. Look at that guy just going to town on…nothing. Speaking of ATM’s, you ever heard someone say that they’re going to the ATM machine? Doesn’t that low key irk you? Or when someone says that they can never remember their PIN number?

There’s a clear panel on the side of the ATM that reveals not machinery but glistening purple organs squeezing and squelching into one another. From amongst these slimey bits a hazy green electricity fills the cavity and sparks against the confines of the interior.

Standing or should I say assembled in their unifications are two midlevel . They stand about five foot eight and have a bulbous head with a peanut shaped torso and spindly appendages. Closer inspection reveals that they of course are an amalgamation of many coin sized insect like creatures, which gives one the feeling of when you realize the poster you’re looking at of Marilyn Monroe is actually composed of thousands of tiny pictures of yoda. Not to say that these creatures resemble the voluptuous blonde bombshell of a bygone ere, it just seems the most popular image for that poster type.

Makes 4ish Servings


  • Egg Whites (Or full eggs whipped and mixed)
  • 1 Cup Milk (Use whatever kind you want depending on your preference)
  • 4 Tablespoons Powdered Cinnamon
  • 4 Tablespoons Powdered Nutmeg
  • 4 Tablespoons Brown Sugar
  • 4 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract
  • 4 Teaspoons Coarse Salt in a grinder
  • 4 Tablespoons Milk Chocolate Morsels
  • 3 Bananas
  • 4 Tablespoons Peanut Butter
  • 4 teaspoons powdered sugar
  • 4 Tablespoons Salted Butter
  • 8 Slices of white bread (I like to make my bread in the bread maker, but if you’re not feeling Xtra, you can use white bread:D)


  • In a bowl mix the egg with the milk unto well blended
  • Set out a plate and combine your cinnamon and nutmeg, use a fork to ensure the spices have blended well
  • Place one tablespoon of butter in a skillet on Medium heat. You’re going to be doing these in batches of 2 slices each, for each batch use 1 tablespoon of butter to grease your skillet.
  • Set your vanilla next to the skillet along with your brown sugar and a spoon
  • Once the butter has melted, move it around to coat the skillet
  • Take a slice of bread and dip it into your egg wash
  • Take the slice of bread and now place it onto your spice plate, press the bread so the spice adheres and flip to do the same to the opposite side.
  • Place the spiced bread into the skillet and repeat the process with the next slice.
  • Wash paws
  • Add about one teaspoon of vanilla extract to both slices of bread (I sort of eyeball it) just do one side (a little goes a long way)
  • Add one tablespoon of brown sugar using a spoon to sprinkle it over the top of both slices (Shaking your sugar container before hand to loosen the sugar is a helpful hint)
  • Cook on medium heat for about three to four minutes and flip, cooking for the same amount of time on the next side.
  • While the bread cooks cut your nanners horizontally to resemble coins
  • Plate bread
  • Spread peanut butter on the top of one slice
  • Add six banana slices ontop of peanut butter
  • Add about a handful of chocolate morsels (or more if you’re feeling spicy) ontop of nannners
  • Place second slice ontop of peanutbutter nanner chocolate slice
  • Spread peanut butter on the top slice, then repeat banana and chocolate step from foundation slice
  • If desired add heated maple syrup (I like the real stuff nuked for about a minute)
  • Top with a dusting of Powdered sugar

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: