17: Devan’s Deviled Chicken

The days are starting to shorter and the nights are getting longer, the crisp in the air has made you dig into the closet and throw on that snuggly sweater that looks oh so good on you. Yes fall is upon us again and like many of you I find myself yearning for the heartier recipes that make you feel warm from the inside out.

Let’s see ah above us you can see another mode of transportation in the ship, a suction tube secured along the ceiling. Through the clear plastic like material the individual components of multi organisms can be seen transported at rapid speeds, just look at em go!

That reminds me I need to stop by the bank later. Alrighty let’s kill some birds with stone, um, yeah through here. In this room we have various technologies recently acquired during this vessels latest mission. That spindly looking doodad with what looks like a cow’s tongue hanging out of it is a which I think turns thoughts into a flavorless nutrient paste. Hmmm, moving along, boring, boring, boring, death ray, boring. By the way did you notice all the flickering lights and seemingly pointless hanging strands of heavy chains? I don’t have an explanation for that other than it seems like most space ships have them, that and grated floors and water drippy ceilings, weird.

Okay a few more of these items, um alright this is a it’s just like a pepper grinder, essentially you turn the thing at the top that rotates the blades at the bottom to chip little pieces of the spice onto your food for flavoring. The spice is actually a little creature that committed unspeakable crimes on his home planet.

I’m sure you recognize this, it’s a fleshlight. It’s a vagina encapsulated in a flashlight tube that vibrates. This is used for male masturbation of the human species in richer continents. Hey look at that its the only thing they took. Apparently from the intergalactic explorer society’s point of view this is the only thing of use your entire planet has produced!

Enough of the fucking around, let’s get to our real reason for coming. Through this door we have…oh yeah! The door is a hinged door! That is weird, it turns out they developed the exact same basic door technology as earth. Of course they have automatic hatch doors on the exterior of the ship, but the interior uses these. It’s too much of a waste of precious energy to automate internal doors when the manuals do the same job.

Anyhoo if we’re finished waxing poetic on intergalactic door technology races let’s go through here to the molecule dispersion room. Here, I’ve managed to bring us back five years to the exact day the genetic manipulation molecules were first released by the aliens, which by the way are called

Ingredients

⅛ cup butter

½ cup mayonnaise

2 tablespoons prepared mustard

8 breast half, bone and skin removed (blank)s skinless, boneless chicken breast halves

salt and pepper to taste

1 (16 ounce) package herb-seasoned dry bread stuffing mix

Directions

  • Step 1– Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  • Step 2 – Melt butter/margarine and mix in a small bowl with mayonnaise and mustard. Pour mixture into a shallow bowl or plate.
  • Step 3 – Season chicken with salt and pepper to taste. Roll seasoned chicken breasts in mayonnaise mixture, then dip in mixed herbs and place in a lightly greased 9×13 inch baking dish. Bake in the preheated oven for 1 1/2 hours.

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